Get all 21 Goodbye Charlemagne releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Sensational Debut (60th Anniversary Stereo Edition), Christmastime in Outer Space, We Have Your Son, But Please Take Him Back, Messin' with the Monkey [Single Version], Party All Night (Until 10pm) [Single Version], The British Invasion: Part II, Glitz & Glamour, The Sensational Debut, and 13 more.
1. |
KFRO
00:41
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2. |
That's the Brand
03:12
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Hey wow that was surprisingly good
But I’m not sure what your deal is
You write these catchy songs
But I’m not sure what the appeal is
If you don’t mind I have a few notes
A few helpful suggestions
I hope you take my unsolicited feedback
Into consideration
Why don’t you record in a studio
Instead of just your bedroom
On instruments you can barely play
With a voice that barely stays in tune
Why don’t you write a viral hit
That gets the world to dance and sing
Why don’t you write more conventional lyrics
And focus more on marketing
That’s the brand
That’s the brand
That’s the brand
That’s the brand
You spent a decade spinning your wheels
Aren’t you embarrassed
You must feel really upset
With your complete lack of success
I’m fine being a failed comedian
Turned failing musician
At least I’m proud of the things I’ve made
Like Popeye said I am what I am
That’s the brand
That’s the brand
That’s the brand
That’s the brand
That’s the brand
That’s the brand
That’s the brand
That’s the brand
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3. |
Hot Goss
03:36
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When I feel down
With no cause for celebration
I don’t feel fulfilled
Heads full of darkened contemplations
I only have one need
One sole aspiration
There’s one sure fire way
To fix my situation
I need
Hot Goss
I need
Hot Goss
I need rumors and allegations
Controversial accusations
Hushed whispered speculations
I need Hot Goss
When I feel sick
There’s only one prescription
To cure what ails me
I need detailed descriptions (tell me everything)
I’m parched for scandal
I might pass out from dehydration
If I don’t sink my teeth in slander
I might die of starvation
I need
Hot Goss
I need
Hot Goss
I need to have a conversation
With libelous insinuations
Extra spicy implications
I need Hot Goss
Who amongst us can deny
The allure of learning why
Two people are no longer friends
Or why Gary lost his job again
Goss so hot that you just might burn your hand
I need
Hot Goss
I need
Hot Goss
When I’m looking for distraction
From my own life’s dissatisfactions
I’ve got my schadenfreude attraction
I need
Hot Goss
I need
Hot Goss
I need
Hot Goss
I need
Hot Goss
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4. |
Rich Parents
03:54
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Come gather round people
And I’ll share more or less
All of the secrets
Of my success
My hard work’s a virtue
In which I take pride
It’s the second-most reason
For my meteoric rise
To make it to the big time
There’s only one way
Shed your blood, sweat and tears
Rise and grind every day
Oh and also I have rich parents
That comes in handy a bit I’ll admit
Yeah also I have rich parents
But we don’t need to talk about it
I’m well respected
In my industry
Because my mom and dad
Own a big company
I rub elbows with leaders
Of political parties
My godfather’s Scorcese
Call him Uncle Marty
Some call it unequal
Some call it unfair
But that’s just how the world works
It’s called laissez faire
I learned that from my rich parents
It’s not wrong to have so much cash
You should be like me and my rich parents
Pull yourself up by your bootstraps
Woe is me
No one knows what it’s like to receive so much scorn
Woe is me
Just for the way you happened to be born
It’s lonely up here at the top of society
I guess the 1% is the last unsung minority
Some say I had a head start
But we all have the same
24 hours
In a single day
We all have the chance
To earn great amounts
Hiding money in mommy’s
Off-shore accounts
You work dead end jobs
To pay back student debt
While my school had buildings
With my granddads name on them
Because my parents also had rich parents
I’m a third generation, old money, legacy
My parents got millions from their parents
And turned that into billions for me
Oh yes it’s true that I have rich parents
And they have rich powerful friends
But if you can get some rich parents
Well I would highly recommend
Oh I have rich parents
Yeah I have rich parents
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5. |
Milk it for Content
03:59
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A cute dog or a new baby
A particularly good looking tree
Having fun with your friends at the neighborhood bar
Your visibly infected appendix scar
You’ve gotta milk it for content
Every single life event
No matter how unimportant
You’ve gotta milk it for content
You better post about it
As much as you can
You didn’t really do it
Unless you do it for the gram
You’ve gotta milk it for content
The sticker that says that you remembered to vote
Or the time you had a very public manic episode
If the cops are called and put you under arrest
Better not forget to say you’re feeling #Blessed
You’ve gotta milk it for content
Every single life event
Pics or it didn’t happen
You’ve gotta milk it for content
Put your life on display
Do it every single day
The whole value of your life
Can be measured by the likes
You’ve gotta milk it for content
Solo
A deer Hunter after gutting a fawn
Felt cute might delete later on
Mirror pics and bathroom selfies
Going live while giving a eulogy
You’ve gotta milk it for content
Every single life event
Like and subscribe if you haven’t
You’ve gotta milk it for content
If you follow me
I promise thI’ll follow you back
We’ll live vicariously
Through social media apps
You’ve gotta milk it for content
You’ve gotta milk it for content
You’ve gotta milk it for content
You’ve gotta milk it for content
You’ve gotta milk it for content
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6. |
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I met a girl
And I heard church bells ringing (church bells ringing)
The dark clouds separated
And angels started singing (singing)
I asked her out
But she brushed me off
I called and asked her what was up
But she just swept me under the rug
‘Cause she was just a blonde wig on a broomstick, no she was not a girl at all
She was just a broomstick with a blonde wig on
I guess that’s why she won’t return my calls
A blonde wig on a broomstick, and I was smitten from the start
She was just a broomstick with a blonde wig on, but she managed to steal my heart
I got a coffee
From my neighborhood cafe (neighborhood cafe)
And that cute barista
Was giving me the eye (giving me the eye)
She gave me her number
Said to call her some time
But I just told her
That I’m afraid she’s not my type
Because she’s not a blonde wig on a broomstick, no she was just a human girl
And I’m into a broomstick with a blonde wig on,
So it’s never gonna work out with her
I’m in love with with a blonde wig on a broomstick, yeah she’s really got a handle on me
But since she’s just a broomstick pwith a blonde wig on, I know it won’t pan out in the least
I tried glasses
On a baseball bat
I tried a mop
That was wearing a hat
I tried wrapping a shirt
Around a chair
But there’s just nothing
That compares
To my blonde wig on a broomstick, you know I’ve only got eyes for her
That’s right a broomstick with a blonde wig on, has cleansed my heart of dust and dirt
She’s just a blonde wig on a broomstick,
But she’s the only one who does it for me
Yeah she’s just a broomstick with a blonde wig on, and she’s swept me
Yeah she’s swept me off my feet
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7. |
Crunchy Country
02:54
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We can’t stop here this is
Crunchy Country
Proceed with caution
If you dare
Here we are
In Crunchy Country
Smell of patchouli oil
Fills the air
Where compost bins are plenty
And granola flows like wine
And tie dye shirts are all they ever wear
The girls are all organic
And the boys are all cage free
And everyone has dreadlocks in their hair
Because here
In Crunchy Country
They all live
Off the grid
When you come to
Crunchy Country
The drum circle will
Invite you in
Solo
Don’t stop
In Crunchy Country
You’ll get sucked into
Their commune
And once you’re part of
Crunchy Country
You’ll become one of them
And you’ll be doomed
You’ll start throwing frisbees
And playing hacky sack
And being welcoming to everyone
You won’t live in fear of folks
That you don’t understand
And that’s just bad for business so you’d better turn and run
Stay away
From Crunchy Country
Don’t trust their
Misleading smiles
People in
Crunchy Country
Lead a dirty
Deviant lifestyle
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8. |
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I can’t live another day
I can’t live another day
In this heat
I can’t go another day
I can’t go another day
Without AC
You say tomorrow’s gonna be
You say tomorrow’s gonna be
Hotter than today
You say tomorrow’s gonna be
You say tomorrow’s gonna be
Hot like yesterday
And I say
Yesterday I heard you say
That you were gonna call Sears
And yet today
I see you pplsitting on your rear
So make good on all your promises
We both know what our biggest problem is
So call today, and don’t delay, have I made myself clear because
Yesterday you said you’d call Sears
I’ll call today
You’ll call now
I’ll call today
You’ll call now
I’ll call today
You’ll call now
Okay fine I’ll call right now
So what’s the paper say about
So what’s the paper say about
Tomorrow’s weather
Looks like it’s gonna be
Looks like it’s gonna be
Another scorcher
And I say cool
Because we got that brand new
Kenmore Air Conditioner
Backed
By Sears’ 5 year warranty
On parts and labor
You made good on all your promises
And solved what our biggest problem is
I love you so much, thank you honey, sweetie, dear because
Yesterday you said you’d call Sears
Yesterday you said you’d call Sears
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9. |
Smoking Kills
03:37
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Mama warned me when I was a kid
About all the things that she never did
She told me I had better stay away
I wanted to make mama proud
But I fell in with a bad crowd
And I ignored the words that I had heard my mama say
Mama told me not to drink
Don’t do drugs, don’t do pills
But most of all mama told me
That smoking kills
Yeah mama tried to warn me
That smoking kills
My friends and I went into the woods
And truth be told we were up to no good
We had a lighter and a fresh pack of Marlboro Reds
I lit it up, I felt badass
Until a killer in a hockey mask
Stabbed every one of my friends until they were dead
Mama told me all about
The health risks but still
I ignored all of her warnings
That smoking kills
Yeah mama tried to warn me
That smoking kills
I watched the blood gush from their necks
As I turned around and started to run like heck
I thought I’d gotten away but when I looked back
I was face to face with that hockey mask
I tried to hide behind a rock or a big oak tree
But I was out of breath, the killer caught up to me
The hulking figure stood over me
And raised a big, blood covered machete
But before striking, the killer removed the mask
That’s when reality dawned on me
I was face to face with my own mommy
She said, “You didn’t listen, to the one simple thing I asked”
Then mama brought down the blade
And stabbed me up to the hilt
I guess she really meant it when she said
That smoking kills
Yeah mama tried to warn me
That smoking kills
Yeah mama tried to warn me
That smoking kills
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10. |
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I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna sit in those uncomfortable seats
Getting little popcorn kernels stuck in my teeth
And I never have enough leg room
And they make you watch 30 minutes of previews
So you can see the schlock that’s coming out soon
So I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I’d rather watch read a book tucked in my bed
Than spend 2 hours staring at the back of someones head
And I’ll tell you what I absolutely detest
The guy next to me keeps hogging the arm rest
We’re like sardines shoved in a can
It’s like being on a plane that you hope doesn’t land
So I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
There’s nothing out I even wanted to see
These summer blockbusters aren’t appealing to me
And every Oscar season just feels like work
Gotta watch some directors have a circle jerk
And everybody always makes such a fuss
About some brilliant piece of cinematic genius
But I don’t think I saw the samepb film
Because all I saw was textbook narcissism
So I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
No no
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
No no
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
No no
I don’t wanna go to the movies
I don’t wanna go to the movies
No no
I don’t wanna go to the movies
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11. |
Go Wildcats
02:27
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Hello Mr. Smith
Sorry to bother you at home
I’m sure you don’t have time
To talk on the phone
I’m calling from your college
And thought it might be fun
If you’d consider making
A donation
Oh no? Well that’s too bad
I was hoping you’d remember
All the good times you had
The student union building
And the dining hall
Hanging out, playing frisbee
Out on the quad
I know it’s been years
Since you left your alma mater
And I also know that you are now the loving father
Of a little boy named Derek who’s just turned three
How do I know that?
Well because he’s right in front of me
So don’t be stupid, no one has to get hurt here
And if I’m not being clear,
We have your son
Yeah we kidnapped your boy
But don’t get sore
We need to buy the football team
A new scoreboard
For a thousand dollars we’ll give you back your son
For a hundred dollars we can mail you his thumb
This isn’t a joke or a prank call
I’m really not fooling at all
We have your son
Okay Mr. Smith
Glad you understand at last
So tell me will that be
Credit or Cash
Thank you so much
For your generous donation
On behalf of the school’s
Alumni Association
We’ll give back your son
Once the funds clear the bank
And the dean will surely
Send you his thanks
Alright I’ll let you go and get back
To whatever you were doing, goodbye
And go Wildcats
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Goodbye Charlemagne New York, New York
Failed comedian. Failing musician.
The artist currently known as Goodbye
Charlemagne.
Guitars: Ricketts Parnassass
Keys: Dakota Boulevard
Bass: Dimo Rodrigo
Drums: Flora Lewpinsky
Additional instruments and vocals provided by Kevin Froleiks for tax purposes
... more
Goodbye Charlemagne recommends:
Fantastic arrangements, catchy melodies, incredible album.
go to album
Gary Wilson: Another Lonely Night In Brooklyn
by Tredici Bacci
Gary Wilson is an icon of diy/outsider music. His album “You Think You Really Know Me” is the stuff of legend. This live recording adds a massive 13 piece backing band to his iconic songs.
go to album
With Love...From Me To You
by Todd
Very sincere love songs by a sad little high school boy that could have been me in another lifetime.
go to albumIf you like Goodbye Charlemagne, you may also like:
Noir & Jazz & Dark & Slow...
by NEONNOONE
supported by 19 fans who also own “We Have Your Son, But Please Take Him Back”
Lynchian vibes, all around.
go to album
supported by 17 fans who also own “We Have Your Son, But Please Take Him Back”
Merci Déhà for the download code. Lots of bands use these ingredients – pretty female vocals over doomy guitars always sounds good, but usually that's where the ideas run out. That isn't the case here. Each song is packed with ideas and evolutions, genres and references it's boring to list but not at all to listen to. A pleasure to have been introduced to this.
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Breezy acoustic pop from Dunedin, “Caprice” floats feathery vocals over sunny guitars and keys.
go to album
