We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Ten Songs Too Many

by Kevin Froleiks

supported by
James Dover
James Dover thumbnail
ccsnoopy63
ccsnoopy63 thumbnail
notpatreilly
notpatreilly thumbnail
/
1.
Folks, How We Doing? 01:42
lyrics
buy track
Hey folks, how we doing? Are we doing good, are we doing bad Are we doing happy, are we doing sad Hey folks, how we doing? Hope you’re ready to go, time to start the show Thanks for coming tonight! Well hey, folks. Maybe you didn’t hear me But I asked everybody how we’re doing tonight And you all said nothing, kinda impolite So folks, let’s try again now I’m gonna ask you how we doin, you’re gonna tell me how we’re doing tonight! Okayyyy folks! Not sure what your deal is If I ask how we’re doing you can just say fine And then you can go your way and I’ll go mine SO ONE MORE TIME folks, how we doing? Not being rhetorical or metaphorical Howe we doing tonight? I heard good I heard fine And if you’re curious I’m Actually going through a rough patch thanks for asking
2.
Everything's Disgusting 03:30
lyrics
buy track
The hands you shake The clothes you wear That piece of cake That breath of air Your family and friends You’ve got to avoid Every event you attend Will try to destroy you Everything’s Disgusting A lover’s embrace Everything’s Disgusting Will contaminate your face Everything’s Disgusting Your grandmother’s kiss Everything’s Disgusting Might as well just be piss Your toothbrushes are Completely unclean You’re better off gargling Gasoline If you go to the store You’re just helping it spread If you’ve touched a door knob Then you’re already dead Everything’s Disgusting Your coffee or tea Everything’s Disgusting Is crawling with disease Everything’s Disgusting A letter saying “Get Well” Everything’s Disgusting Burn it and send it to hell There’s nothing more dangerous than everything It’s not a matter of if but of when I’m not being paranoid, I’m perfectly sane Now excuse me while I wash my hands again and again and again and again You can scrub and scrape But it won’t come off No matter what you make You can’t afford the cost It knows no creed It knows no sect And it’s no use ‘Cause you’re already infected Everything’s Disgusting Someone gives you a hug Everything’s Disgusting You’ll come down with the bug Everything’s Disgusting If you go out to dine Everything’s Disgusting Your death’s warrant’s been signed Everything’s Disgusting Everything’s Disgusting Everything’s Disgusting Everything’s Disgusting
3.
Workin' From Home 03:42
lyrics
buy track
Early one morning, my boss came in Said boys I’ve got some bad news Guv’ment says I gotta close the factory doors Pack your things and punch out before noon Well I’ve been workin my whole life at this GM plant Putting motors in Buicks and Saabs Then boss-man said “Hey, there won’t be pink slips today, There’s a way you can all keep your jobs!” Home, we’re working from home Home, we’re working from home Just ‘cause you’re not here all day, don’t mean you can’t still get paid So now we’re working from Yeah we’re all working from Home, we’re working from home When I got home at noon my old woman, June, Said, “Honey you get fired again?” Said, “Baby you are my rock, but I’m still on the clock” Then I made an office in our kitchen Home, we’re working from home Home, we’re working from home I’m sleeping in late, and the commute sure is great When you’re working from Yeah we’re all working from Home, we’re working from home Didn’t know how it would go Working at home all alone Turns out it’s just like being down at the plant I build the motors like I did at the plant Without seeing Gary down at the plant I don’t hate Gary but he’s kind of a lot It’s been two months of building motors at home I got a pile of them in my backyard Then all my neighbors come by, and add one piece at a time Until we’ve built another brand new car My check’s still received, on the first and fifteenth I’m more efficient working at my own pace And I’ve heard that the boss has lowered overhead costs And no one has to see Gary’s stupid face Home, we’re working from home Home, we’re working from home We should all have a chance, to work without wearing pants And now we’re working from Yeah we’re all working from Home, we’re working from home Home, we’re working from home Assembly line rooms have been replaced by Zoom ‘Cause now we’re working from That’s right we’re working from Home, we’re working from home
4.
Plenty of Time 02:07
lyrics
buy track
Well I was sitting at home not doing much Just staring at the walls and collecting dust Got a pile of books that are still unread And not a single thought in my head But then one day my friend just called to say That he wanted to chat hey how about that And he was wondering if I had some time to spare And I said, yup I’ve got plenty of time If I said that I was busy then I’d be lyin’ So if you wanna hang or get together today I could pencil you in any time of day I’d say it’s got potential, but let me check my schedule Yup! I’ve got plenty of time Well I went outside and I popped a squat And watched people walk by on the sidewalk Just watching people heading to some place And just kinda staring into space Well then my next door neighbor asked If I’d Be interested in having a beer inside He said they’re nice and cold if I had some time to spare And I said, yup I’ve got plenty of time If I said that I was busy then I’d be lyin’ So if you wanna hang or get together today I could pencil you in any time of day I’d say it’s got potential, but let me check my schedule Yup! I’ve got plenty of time Well that was when I felt inclined To wander down the road, no destination in mind I stared at the clouds I looked at the ground Til I came upon a store in town That’s when the owner of the shop asked if I Would want a job, he told me how to apply He said it sure looked like I had some time to spare And I said, uhh nope I’m actually busy you see I got plans and tasks that I gotta complete I gotta list of to-do’s that I gotta get done I’d love to talk more but I gotta run Well let me take a gander at the old calendar Nope! I ain’t got no time
5.
Violating Quarantine 02:24
lyrics
buy track
The bars and pubs are all closed down The streets are completely dead The governor says we must stay home To help reduce the spread But me and my pals are feeling good The time is right, I think For us to get together again And share a round of drinks We’re violating quarantine No need to make a fuss If I feel fine and you feel fine The tavern waits for us It’s good to be outside again We’ve been inside too long And personally I do believe The media’s totally wrong I walk into the local pub And see my old my friend Chris He says “take off your mask, you silly ass And come give me a kiss!” We’re violating quarantine It’s not that big a deal So come on out and join us there’s No need to stay concealed Look there’s Molly O’Reilly at the bar Doing shots with Kelly Flynn Glad to see the gangs all here Without the social distancing Michael Ryan starts to hack And says he must take off But Bonnie O’Toole says, “Another round! The whiskey will cure your cough!” We’re violating quarantine Don’t tell us what to do And if you feel a little sick I’m sure it’s just the flu Well Michael Ryan hit the ground And so did Maggie and Paul And soon half of the pub was ill And rushed to hospital The rest of us felt fine though But we all started to panic Then Paddy Murphy shouted, “Hey! We must be asymptomatic!” So we’re violating quarantine ‘Cause we’re all feeling good We’re spreading cheer and viruses Throughout the neighborhood Oh, we’re violating quarantine In the land of the free We’re killing people left and right But it’s good for the economy
6.
Water, Coffee, Whiskey, and Beer 04:28
lyrics
buy track
Water, coffee, whiskey, and beer These are the liquids I always keep near They help mark the hours, days, weeks, months, and years Water, coffee, whiskey, and beer I wake up each morning ‘round 7:30 My mouth’s feeling dry, I’m very thirsty That first drink of water, kicks me into gear Then I move on to coffee, whiskey, and beer Water, coffee, whiskey, and beer These are the liquids I always keep near They help mark the hours, days, weeks, months, and years Water, coffee, whiskey, and beer I have four cups of coffee, sometimes five or six Later I switch to something a little more stiff I look at the time, five o’clock is now here So it’s time to enjoy a nice whiskey or beer Water, coffee, whiskey, and beer These are the liquids I always keep near They help mark the hours, days, weeks, months, and years Water, coffee, whiskey, and beer After a long day there’s just one thing to do Crack open a cold one, enjoy a nice brew Twelve bottles later it’s now time for bed A nice glass of water will help clear my head Water, coffee, whiskey, and beer These are the liquids I always keep near They help mark the hours, days, weeks, months, and years Water, coffee, whiskey, and beer Some water in your whiskey helps the flavors come through You can put whiskey in coffee like the Irish do If you add water to ground up beans, coffee appears And coffee can revive you if you’ve had too much beer Water, coffee, whiskey, and beer These are the liquids I always keep near They help mark the hours, days, weeks, months, and years Water, coffee, whiskey, and beer
7.
Stress Dreams 02:14
lyrics
buy track
Oh I haven’t really been sleeping well I toss and turn all night I wake up still exhausted Fall asleep in broad daylight I think I know the reason For all my added strain It’s because of the crazy fun house films That’re playing in my brain I’m having stress dreams I don’t know what they mean When I close my eyes I get a big surprise From those stress dreams Why am I in middle school? Why are all my teeth loose? Why is my dad yelling at me? Why’m I at the office nude? Could it be my diet? Do I need more exercise? There’s gotta be a way For me to get some more shut eye I’m having stress dreams I don’t know what they mean When I close my eyes I get a big surprise From those stress dreams Sometimes it starts out happy I’m out with all my friends Frank Zappa’s also there and asks If I want to join his band I get my drums, we start to jam I can’t believe my luck But then I remember I don’t play drums Now Zappa thinks I suck I’m having stress dreams I don’t know what they mean When I close my eyes I get a big surprise From those stress dreams I dreamt my house caught fire And woke up drenched in sweat I wanted a glass of water But I couldn’t get out of bed My whole body was frozen And snakes were crawling over me That’s when I realized, son of a bitch, This is a dream within a dream! I’m having stress dreams I don’t know what they mean When I close my eyes I get a big surprise From those stress dreams
8.
Janice 03:57
lyrics
buy track
On Monday I had the sniffles On Tuesday Beky felt weak The next three days went by People dropped off like flies And we all knew who spread the disease Cause each year we get free flu shots Right here in our big conference room But one person resists Won’t see the pharmacist And each year thanks to her we are doomed So get your fuckin flu shot Please do it for all of us, Janice We go through this each year, I’m sure you remember You infect the whole office come every December Get your fuckin flu shot Come on, god dammit, Janice Don’t be such a bastard You walking health hazard Just get your flu shot today Now Janice was born in the fifties And she knows a thing or two As a kid she would play In the trash everyday She’s got immunities out the wazoo But last week Janice was coughing We all told her go home and get well But she came into work ANd now thanks to that jerk We’re all trapped in this fever dream hell So get your fuckin flu shot Please do it for all of us, Janice We go through this each year, I’m sure you remember You infect the whole office come every December Get your fuckin flu shot God dammit, Janice Are you an anti-vaccer? You think the government tracks ya? Just get your flu shot today Well I for one am tired of getting so sick, year after year The time has come to take matters into our own hands, the answer is clear I’m gonna sneak up behind Janice Gonna give her that flu shot today Co-workers gather ‘round And help me hold her down Gonna give her that flu shot today! What do you mean I can’t make her my patient? What do you mean that’s an HR violation? She does this to spite me I’ve asked so politely How much longer must I live this way? So get your fuckin flu shot Please do it for all of us, Janice We go through this each year, I’m sure you remember You infect the whole office come every December Get your fuckin flu shot Come on, god dammit, Janice Don’t be such a bastard You walking health hazard Just get your flu shot today Get your fuckin flu shot Please do it for all of us, Janice We go through this each year, I’m sure you remember You infect the whole office come every December Get your fuckin flu shot God dammit, Janice Are you an anti-vaccer? You think the government tracks ya? Just get your flu shot today
9.
Blue State Redneck 03:32
lyrics
buy track
Well you don’t have to be Magellan to know your North from South No you don’t have to be Magellan to know your North from South So if you’re from New England, why’s that southern accent coming out your mouth Well you don’t have to be Abe Lincoln to know what happened at Gettysburg No you don’t have to be Abe Lincoln to know what happened at Gettysburg You know the Minnesota Vikings didn’t fight in the Civil War You say it’s heritage not hate But you know you’re in a union state So why you waving that rebel flag so proud You like to sport a southern drawl But you’re just playing pretend is all And the things you say probably shouldn’t be said out loud You’re just a blue state redneck It’s the only life that you have ever known You’re a blue state redneck And your country no longer feels like home Well you don’t have to be Jesus to know your wrong from right No you don’t have to be Jesus to know your wrong from right So maybe pick your battles and fight a more worthwhile fight Well you don’t have to be Tim Gunn to know how to make it work No you don’t need to be Tim Gunn to know how to make it work But your stars and bars are clashing with your New York Yankees shirt You tell immigrants to stay over there You say they gotta pay their share But you also say taxation’s the same as slavery Those camo pants, a John Deere hat A rifle slung across your back But intimidation ain’t the same as bravery You’re just a blue state redneck And you always feel like you’re under attack A blue state redneck It never left you but you want your country back You’re a blue state redneck And you’re not sure where America has went A blue state redneck And you’re fine and dandy being ignorant
10.
(I'm Gonna Speak To) Your Manager 04:19
lyrics
buy track
When the telephone rings, that’s me calling On your customer service line And I’m warning you now, I’m unhappy And I’m gonna give you a hard time You may think that I’m just being stubborn Or perhaps just a bit insecure Go ahead and say what you want of me But I’m gonna speak to your manager I’m gonna speak to your manager Yeah I’m gonna ruin your day Gonna tell them that you should be kicked to the curb It’s the only thing that makes me feel okay You can tell right away from the tone of my voice That I’ve got an axe to grind Try all you want to reason with me But I’m gonna lose my damn mind You see I am the customer and I’m always right No exception to the rule that’s for sure So you’d better give me exactly what I want Or I’m gonna speak to your manager I’m gonna speak to your manager Yeah it’s all over for you There aren’t many times I feel in control But this is the one time I do I try to think of what the reason could be Why do I treat people so terribly Maybe it runs in my family tree Or maybe I lack basic empathy I don’t have a degree in psychology But it could be a defect with my personality That makes me see you as a punching bag for me And see me as your Muhammad Ali You know my wife left me this morning Just an hour after we lost a child Perhaps I should seek out some therapy But first this complaint must be filed Yeah I’m gonna make my problems your problems Gonna make this painful for you, rest assured And no matter how you try to talk me down I’m still gonna speak to your manager : I’m gonna speak to your manager And I hope that you lose your job next Hope you enjoy filling out paperwork To collect your unemployment checks I’m an empty, angry person And I don’t care how you may have felt Because no matter how much you hate me You couldn’t hate me as much as I hate myself

about

This is an album of original folk and country songs that I wrote and recorded while being quarantined in my apartment during the COVID-19 pandemic.

credits

released May 1, 2020

All songs written and recorded by Kevin Froleiks

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Goodbye Charlemagne image

Goodbye Charlemagne New York, New York

Failed comedian. Failing musician.

The artist currently known as Goodbye Charlemagne.

Guitars: Ricketts Parnassass

Keys: Dakota Boulevard

Bass: Dimo Rodrigo

Drums: Flora Lewpinsky

Additional instruments and vocals provided by Kevin Froleiks for tax purposes ... more

contact / help

Contact Goodbye Charlemagne

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

Goodbye Charlemagne recommends:

If you like Ten Songs Too Many, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Featuring Riley Pinkerton (aka The Rat Queen) from the theatrical NYC rockers, Castle Rat.
listen now