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Back By Zero Demand

by Kevin Froleiks

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1.
Who Is This For? 01:42
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Who is this for I really don’t know Did anybody ask for more Or is this just for your own ego Well once was enough But now nobody cares The first time was cute But you shoulda stopped there I was trying to be supportive but I can’t anymore Tell me, tell me who is this for I’m sure that somebody’s listening I assure you they are not There’s gotta be someone enjoying my songs Come on buddy that’s a long shot I think we both know The facts and well Music is subjective But be honest with yourself Noone’s listening now nobody listened before Tell me, tell me who is this for So pack it in Just call it quits This is just for you So just admit I know you think These songs are neat But come on man They’re just a little niche Only 2 people bought Your first album Sure you’ve got a supply But of demand there’s none You might think you’re the next big Troubadour But tell me, tell me Tell me, tell me Tell me, tell me who is this for (Why the fuck am I doing this again…)
2.
The Assistant Manager Of Rock 04:12
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If Elvis Presley was the King Then I guess I’m just a pawn If Ozzy is the Prince of Darkness I’m the pauper of leaving the lights on If David Bowie was Ziggy Stardust You can call me Dilbert Sunspots And if Bruce Springsteen is the Boss You can call me the Assistant Manager of Rock The Assistant Manager of Rock and Roll The Assistant Manager of Rock The Assistant Manager of Rock and Roll The Assistant Manager of Rock The Assistant Manager of Rock and Roll The Assistant Manager of Rock The Assistant Manager of Rock and Roll The Assistant Manager of Rock I can’t dance around like Mick Jagger I can’t shred like Jimmy Page I can’t belt like Freddy Mercury Or sing with soul like Marvin Gaye And I can’t play drums like Neil Peart Or play piano like Billy Joel But I can sign off on your timesheet And approve your PTO cause I’m The Assistant Manager of Rock and Roll The Assistant Manager of Rock The Assistant Manager of Rock and Roll The Assistant Manager of Rock The Assistant Manager of Rock and Roll The Assistant Manager of Rock The Assistant Manager of Rock and Roll The Assistant Manager of Rock Jimi Hendrix lit his guitar on fire! Keith Moon blew up his drums But I’ll make sure we’re up to code Before next week’s inspection It may not seem as impressive You might think that I’m a bore But we’ll just see who’s laughing when I’m the manager of this whole store The Assistant Manager of Rock and Roll The Assistant Manager of Rock The Assistant Manager of Rock and Roll The Assistant Manager of Rock The Assistant Manager of Rock and Roll The Assistant Manager of Rock The Assistant Manager of Rock and Roll The Assistant Manager of Rock Jim Morrison was Mr. Mojo Risin’ The Assistant Manager of Rock Prince was the Purple One The Assistant Manager of Rock Warren Zevon was the Excitable Boy The Assistant Manager of Rock Johnny Cash was the Man in Black The Assistant Manager of Rock
3.
Black Market Of Love 03:44
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Believe me when I say you’re my one and only You’re the only one that I’ve been thinking of But I woke up in an ice bath without you Because you sold my heart on the black market of love That’s right I woke up in a bathtub of an old motel With my chest cut open and barely stitched up And the pain in my chest does not compare to losing you When you sold my heart on the black market of love I used to call you baby, and take you out on the town And you thanked me by harvesting my guts Looks like you took my liver and a kidney or two And you sold my heart on the black market of love That’s right I woke up in a bathtub of a cheap motel Covered in a layer of my own blood And I hope for every tear I shed for you you made a dollar When you sold my heart on the black market of love It still hurts in all the places you cut me But not as much as it hurt when you said you’d had enough Now there’s an aching empty hole inside my chestal cavity Where you sold my heart on the black market of love That’s right I woke up in a bathtub of a motel that doesn’t ask questions With just a single lightbulb swinging above Now I’m wandering down the highway tryna hitch a ride to the hospital ‘Cause you sold my heart on the black market of love That’s right you sold my heart on the black market of love
4.
I Drowned My Girl In The River Tonight 11:10
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I drowned my girl in the river tonight She’d been cheating and sleeping around Each day while I worked she’d be out and about I’d heard rumors from folks in the town And the thought of her with another man Broke my heart and made me cry She’d broken her vow to me and so I Drowned my girl in the river tonight And after she’d passed I let the current take her Out of the town and out of my world But when I got home I was surprised to see At the table was my own sweet girl She smiled at me and said “You’re home late I was wondering when you’d be around” I looked back and forth trying to figure out If you’re here then who did I drown? My girl said to me “Wait what do you mean?” I said I thought that I drowned you just now. It was dark and I guess I got caught in the moment And I guess I was just working some stuff out She said, “Wait wait back up, did you plan to kill me?” I said yeah but I didn’t do it so calm down She said “Oh my god, we must call the police” I said No cops you’re in this now She said “What wait what” I said let me figure this out She said “I’m staying with my sister tonight” I said oh no you don’t, we gotta get our story straight She said “What we, I didn’t drown anybody tonight” I said to she you’re an accessory To the drowning of that girl tonight Then it dawned on me that there’s still a body Floating down the river tonight So I grabbed a net and some strong fishing line To catch the body of whoever I’d drowned And I handed a hacksaw to my sweet girl To chop her up once the body’d been found We went to the river and followed the water Til we came to a bend near a hill And sitting right there, alive as could be Was the girl that I thought I had killed My girl said to me “Are you kidding me You can’t do anything right.” I said now’s not the time for you to be on my case I am having a bit of a night That’s when she saw me and I said “Oh sup” She said don’t come near me or I’ll scream I said it was a joke, it’s called satire She said “You tried to drown me in this stream” My girl said to her “Yeah but he failed as per usual” I said hey who’s side are you on? She said “He wanted me to help get rid of your body And chop it up with this hacksaw.” I said well yeah it sounds bad when you say it out loud But the two of them just carried on They whispered and laughed and pointed at me And this went on until the dawn They won’t let me forget that I tried to drown her I said come on it was just that one time! Relax! My girl said we don’t even look alike at all I said it was dark, you look similar from the back Now my girl and she live together in the house I sleep outside in the cold and shiver plenty And the moral of the story, if there should be one Don’t drown people but hey hindsight’s twenty twenty
5.
My Literal Nightmare 04:30
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There’s a guy named Gary who I can’t stand He’s got a big dumb face that really bugs me man Every time he talks I wanna give him a smack I love to text my friends and make fun of him behind his back But one day I made a terrible blunder When I accidentally texted Gary’s number It’s my literal fucking nightmare I would rather cut my own wrists using my own teeth This is my literal fucking nightmare There’s no coming back from something like this, there’s no way to get no relief Maybe I can skip town Maybe I can change my name Or fake my own death And start all over again I just wanna vanish into thin air So that I escape this literal fucking nightmare I was out at a party on a Saturday night Met a friend of a friend had some drinks yeah it was alright I was having fun I was having a good time I really felt like I was bonding with this guy But when we said goodbye I made a crucial mistake Went in for a hug but he went for a handshake It’s my literal fucking nightmare I’d rather hang myself using my own small intestines This is my literal fucking nightmare It makes me want to rip off every inch of my own skin I thought we were close I thought we’d made a strong connection Thought I’d made a new friend But now I never want it mentioned Now I gotta salt the earth beyond all repair So that I can escape this literal fucking nightmare Now you may think that I’m overreacting That no one would remember those things anyway Well think back to a time where you did something stupid I promise you someone thought about it today Monday morning I went into work Got on the elevator with my boss, Kirk Kirk asked me how my weekend was I told him not bad and asked him how his weekend was I felt confident so I made a joke But it was met with icy silence now I wish I never spoke It’s my literal fucking nightmare I’d rather saw off my arms with a saw made out of my own legs This is my literal fucking nightmare I rather douse my face in gasoline and set fire to my head I guess I’d better just quit Before he can fire me And clean out my desk And hope someone will hire me But first I’ll bury my head in the mouth of a bear So that I can escape this literal fucking nightmare Maybe I can skip town Maybe I can change my name Or fake my own death And start all over again I just wanna vanish into thin air So that I escape this literal fucking nightmare
6.
Famous Dads Around The World 01:48
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Famous dads around the world Famous dads around the world Famous dads around the world Famous dads around the world Abraham Lincoln was a daddy Abraham Lincoln was a daddy He had four sons and the youngest was Taddy And when he died boy it sure was saddy Abraham Lincoln was a daddy Elvis Presley was a father Elvis Presley was a father He had Lisa Marie and there was no other Had Elvis as a father and Priscilla as a mother Elvis Presley was a father Martin Sheen was a pappy Martin Sheen was a pappy Charlie Sheen’s last name was the same But Emilio Estevez kept his real name Martin Sheen was a pappy Adam begat Cain and Abel Adam begat Cain and Abel He had two sons sittin’ at the kitchen table But their relationship was a bit unstable Adam begat Cain and Abel Woody Allen was a papa Woody Allen was a papa One of his kids might really be Sinatra’s And one of his wives was kinda his daughter But Woody Allen was a papa Famous dads around the world Famous dads around the world Famous dads around the world Famous dads around the world
7.
Nana Joined A Cult 03:23
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Nana hasn't been the same since grandpa died She's alone in a house made for two Must be hard after 54 years To suddenly be alone with nothing to do We hate seeing nana with such a broken heart We try to get her outside more to keep her mind sharp So nana joined a cult They make pentagrams of salt In the woods every Saturday night Not exactly what we had in mind But now we're glad That she's back out there enjoying her life Nana's made a lot of new friends And sure they're all in a cult but hey that's fine I hear they made nana treasurer She makes sure they all pay their dues on time We're so happy that nana has a new lease on life Though we're not as thrilled about the human sacrifice Nana joined a cult Reading books on the occult And making candles out of melted human skin It's a little bit morose And I know it's kinda gross But she's happier than she's ever been When the moon is full On a clear dark night Nana's cult goes out into a clearing And they all join hands And recite the spell As the unholy hour is nearing And they bring in a virgin And a ceremonial dagger And nana lifts it up and repeatedly stabs her And the sounds of the chanting Continue loud and low You can feel the fires of hell down below Until emerging from the depths A figure dressed in black And that was how nana brought grandpa back What's up grandpa? You look...good? I've seen things, boy! Terrible things! Nana joined a cult Made a pentagram of salt Then she brought our grandpa back from the dead And you should see them now They just renewed their vows With a blood-red moon shining over head Well nana joined a cult Reading books on the occult She's a supernatural phenomenon Nana's got a brand new idol Threw away the family bible And replaced it with the Necronomicon
8.
Be My Dystopian Girlfriend 04:14
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Oh darlin’ When I first saw you sitting there All alone Eating your daily ration of meat Oh I knew That I needed you to be mine Like we all need to avoid The roving gangs of cannibals out on the street So I’m writing this letter To tell you that I love you Even though The written word is forbidden So when the secret police Are finished patrolling your district Please let me know If you’ll be my Dystopian Girlfriend I remember the look that you gave when I saw you At the underground resistance base I told you your eyes looked like the telescreens that watch us And you let me scan the barcode on your face So as sure as my name is just a long string of numbers And as sure as my thoughts are recorded with this microchip implant And as sure as the pollution keeps setting the sky on fire I’ll love you until they throw me into a re-education camp Oh darling, don’t you know how much I need you? I need you like Eurasia needs to always be at war with Eastasia. I need you like the Captain needs our children to power the train that keeps us all alive. Are you listening to me? I know it sounds crazy, I mean I’m a gamma and you’re an Alpha, maybe it’s just the drugs they put in our milk to keep us docile but I love you. You hear me? I love you more than Eastasia loves to always be at war with Eurasia. So darlin’ believe me when I Tell you, that I love you, more than the Truth Ministry loves to Crush dissenting opinions And so if you feel the same Won’t you please, take my hand And walk with me through the wasteland And be my Dystopian Girlfriend
9.
The Continuing Adventures Of Kevin and Pat 02:44
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10.
Back By Zero Demand 05:46
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There's a voice that says I'm wasting time That voice comes from within So I stepped away but only found That nobody cared where I'd been But there's a freedom when nobody knows If you'll be back again So when I'm good and ready I'll be back by zero demand I'm used to speaking with nobody listening at the other end I don't expect to ever sign my autograph for a fan But if you wanna make me feel bad about that I'm sorry but you missed your chance So I'll see you again when I'm back by zero demand So I'll try to write words that are worth the read And music that's worth the listen I'm well aware that I could fail I've failed before and I'll fail again and again Go ahead and keep your base of frothing followers I don't really give a damn Because like it or not I'll be back by zero demand I'll be Back By Zero Demand I'll be Back By Zero Demand I'll be Back By Zero Demand I'll be Back By Zero Demand

about

Recorded entirely in my low-budget bedroom studio, Back By Zero Demand explores hot button issues like grandparents joining a cult, finding love in a dystopian hellscape, and that guy Gary at work that you can't stand talking to.

This album jumps around between various genres including rock, folk, country, and doo-wop.

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released March 2, 2021

All music written and performed by Kevin Froleiks

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Goodbye Charlemagne New York, New York

Failed comedian. Failing musician.

The artist currently known as Goodbye Charlemagne.

Guitars: Ricketts Parnassass

Keys: Dakota Boulevard

Bass: Dimo Rodrigo

Drums: Flora Lewpinsky

Additional instruments and vocals provided by Kevin Froleiks for tax purposes ... more

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