Glitz & Glamour, by Goodbye Charlemagne

Glitz & Glamour

by Goodbye Charlemagne

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James Dover These are all so good, I don't know how to pick a favorite track. Hilarious lyrics. I settled on The Smack for sentimental reasons: high-school memories of peer-pressuring debate teammates into slapping themselves in the face by slapping ourselves in the face. That sounded better in my head. Favorite track: The Smack.

daneascott Duude! Bringing disco back! This would fit seamlessly into any vinyl record collection aimed at disco and the 60s-70s. Love how playful the lyrics are too. Gets stuck like a groovy ear worm

Michael I hear Beegees, Duran Duran, The Smiths, and so many influences. Rocking it like the 80s. But this is definitely music that has a place in today's charts. If you like songs like Pop Music, Brick House, and Bring the Funk, you're gonna appreciate this. Groovy! Favorite track: (All Aboard) The Disco Train.

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Full Digital Discography

21

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Get all 21 Goodbye Charlemagne releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Sensational Debut (60th Anniversary Stereo Edition), Christmastime in Outer Space, We Have Your Son, But Please Take Him Back, Messin' with the Monkey [Single Version], Party All Night (Until 10pm) [Single Version], The British Invasion: Part II, Glitz & Glamour, The Sensational Debut, and 13 more. , and , .

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1.	Glitz 02:22	lyrics	buy track
Glitz
2.	(All Aboard) The Disco Train 04:16	lyrics	buy track
All aboard the disco train (Tickets Please, tickets please) Hop aboard the disco train (Next stop Funkville, USA) Ride the rails of the disco train (Chugga chugga chugga chugga, chugga chugga chugga chugga) All aboard the disco train Get yourself a ticket And climb aboard Gonna take a journey down The entire eastern seaboard From Portland, Maine to Miami Straight down the Atlantic Ocean The disco train puts the loco Back in the locomotion All aboard the disco train (Tickets Please, tickets please) Hop aboard the disco train (Next stop Funkville, USA) Ride the rails of the disco train (Chugga chugga chugga chugga, chugga chugga chugga chugga) All aboard the disco train Ain’t no quiet cars On the disco train It’s an all night party All local stops are being made The disco train is a magic train I’m sure you can deduce When the music’s loud, make like a train And shake that big caboose All aboard the disco train (Tickets Please, tickets please) Hop aboard the disco train (Next stop Funkville, USA) Ride the rails of the disco train (Chugga chugga chugga chugga, chugga chugga chugga chugga) All aboard the disco train Chugga chugga chugga chugga Chugga chugga chugga chugga Choo choo choo HOO! Chugga chugga chugga chugga Chugga chugga chugga chugga Choo choo choo HOO! Tickets Please, Tickets Please Next stop Funkville USA The disco train Don’t run on coal It don’t run on steam It just runs on soul If the musics hot And the beats are tight The disco train can run all day And straight on through the night All aboard the disco train (Tickets Please, tickets please) Hop aboard the disco train (Next stop Funkville, USA) Ride the rails of the disco train (Chugga chugga chugga chugga, chugga chugga chugga chugga) All aboard the disco train All aboard the disco train All aboard the disco train All aboard the disco train All aboard the disco train
3.	Party All Night (Until 10pm) 04:28	lyrics	buy track
I got ice in the freezer Beer and wine are in the fridge I got liquor and I got mixers I got plenty of chips and dip Ain't no party like one of my parties Cause you know my party don't stop But we're all in our 30s now So there's just one caveat We're gonna party all night Until 10pm We're gonna party all night Party all night We're gonna party all night Until 10pm Cause that's a reasonable hour to call it a night Hey thanks for coming over Why don't you come on in Take your shoes off at the door Let me take your coat And I'll introduce you to all my other friends This is Kelly from three jobs ago This is John we met in college But no one here expects you to learn each others names We all know it's just useless knowledge Because we're gonna party all night Until 10pm We're gonna party all night Party all night We're in our 30s We're not trying to make some new friends At 10:01 we all go back to our real lives again It's 9 o'clock and I'm Ready to call it a night I turn the music down a smidge And hope that my guests take the hint I sneak away to my bed Dim the lights and close the door And I push all their coats Off of my bed and on on the floor I just need to take a five Swear I'm just resting my eyes But I don't set an alarm And I awake at dawn When I wake up I grab my phone And I text all of my friends They say we all left maybe 10 minutes or so After you snuck off to bed Then the one guy in his twenties says Next week let's all grab a beer But the rest of us say that's okay we're good now No need to socialize for at least a couple of years Because we partied all night Until 9:15-ish pm That's right we partied all night Partied all night We'll be hungover for days From just 2 glasses of wine But that's the price you pay for trying to party all night Partied all night That's right we partied all night Partied all night That's right we partied all night Partied all night
4.	Thank You, Shut Up 03:38	lyrics	buy track
Thank you Shut Up Thank you Shut up Thank you Shut up Thank you Shut up Looks like I did a thing Made something I can’t wait to show You tell me that it’s cool You wanna share with everyone you know Well I avert my eyes My cheeks flush, heart skips a beat I say uh huh and change the subject You say I really think it’s neat Thank you, now shut up (Shut your mouth) Not another word coming out your face Thank you, now shut up (Zip it on up) Cause I’m uncomfortable receiving praise Thank you Shut Up Thank you Shut up I spent so much time Bringing this project to fruition Spent countless sleepless nights Obsessing over my vision And now it’s out there And I get words of admiration But I’d rather hear your words of Loathing, Hatred, and Condemnation Thank you, now shut up (Shut your mouth) Not another word coming out your face Thank you, now shut up (Zip it on up) Cause I’m uncomfortable receiving praise Thank you Shut Up Thank you Shut up Thank you Shut up Thank you Shut up Thank you Shut up Thank you Shut up Than you Shut up Thank you Shut up I say that’s nice of you to say And then I shuffle on away You say you think I’ve got a hit Well thanks but leave me out of it It’s nothing against you I swear I don’t mean to be rude Don’t mistake this for resentment But please stop giving me attention Thank you, now shut up (Shut your mouth) Not another word coming out your face Thank you, now shut up (Zip it on up) Cause I’m uncomfortable receiving praise Thank you Shut Up Thank you Shut up Thank you Shut up Thank you Shut up Thank you Shut Up Thank you Shut up Thank you Shut up Thank you Shut up Thank you
5.	Slow Dance to Stairway to Heaven 04:17	lyrics	buy track
Friday night And we’re all out here at the dance I see you And I decide to take a chance Girl you look so fine Now won’t you take my hand Cause it’s 1999 And we’re at an 8th grade dance I want to slow dance to Stairway to Heaven With my hands on your waist, standing two feet apart I want to slow dance to Stairway to Heaven Even during the fast part You and I Are swaying to the sounds Left and right Barely moving our feet up off the ground Girl I’m hoping that This dance will last forever And I hope that if we kiss Our braces don’t get stuck together I want to slow dance to Stairway to Heaven When I hear the first few notes on the acoustic guitar I want to slow dance to Stairway to Heaven Even during the fast part The slow part ends The guitar solo starts to rock But I feel tense Don’t know what to do with my body parts Girl I’d love to stay with you Basked in our teenage hormones But sorry girl my rides here My mom is here to take me home I want to slow dance to Stairway to Heaven On the scuffed up floor of our middle school’s cafeteria I want to slow dance to Stairway to Heaven Even during the fast part Slow dance to Stairway to Heaven Slow dance to Stairway to Heaven Slow dance to Stairway to Heaven Slow dance to Stairway to Heaven And as we slow dance awkwardly I look around and plainly see That every girl’s taller than me Because I haven’t yet hit puberty
6.	Karate in the Night 05:09	lyrics	buy track
The sun goes down over the city skyline The darkness takes away the light The shadows sneak up right behind me I see them move out of the corner of my eye I’m all alone In this big house without you And there’s only one thing I can do I do karate in the night It’s the only thing that make me feel alright I karate chop the darkness HIYA I do karate in the night I take the trash down to the basement And the lightbulb’s on the fritz again What’s that moving over in the corner? Dear lord save me from this monster amen Cause when the lightbulbs break And the room’s as black as coal Every shape could be a goblin or a troll I do karate in the night I’m a black belt here inside my mind You better believe that if you try to scare me HIYA I'll do karate in the night I go into the bathroom every evening (Going to the bathroom) When it’s time to brush my teeth (You gotta brush your teeth) But my eyes are drawn to the shower curtain (Oh no) Is there some monster murderer waiting for me (Waiting in the shower) But I don’t run, no I don’t flinch No I don’t scream and I don’t hide I just pull back the curtain, step back into a stance It’s karate o’clock tonight I wake up at the break of dawn Pour some coffee to start the day And I take a look around Looks like everything’s okay Ain’t got no monsters in the kitchen No oogie boogies under the bed No specters lurking in the closets No creepy crawlies overhead Because they know That this is my home They know better than to mess with a pro Cause I do karate in the night My fists are ready for the fight And when the sun goes down this evening HIYA I'll do karate in the night Cause it's the only thing that make me feel alright I karate chop the darkness I do karate in the night
7.	If You See Me Dancing 03:16	lyrics	buy track
Now I'm not the kinda guy Who likes to boogie on the floor Because I'm the kinda guy Who thinks that dancing is a bore But there always comes a time When my attitude gets flipped, sir A few hours into the night When I've had a few elixirs If you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk If you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk If my booty starts to shake Better get me somewhere safe Because if you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk Now you don't need to drink In order to enjoy yourself But I'm not gonna lie 4 scotch and sodas really helps And after five or six That's when all of my doubts stop And I begin to move my hips Because my brain has been shut off If you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk If you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk The booze made it possible But please get me to a hospital Because if you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk If you don't think you can boogie down Say hey bartender, another round If you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk If you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk If you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk If you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk Now I'm the kinda guy Who needs some social lubrication When everybody starts to dance It ain't no time for moderation Some people say that I Should keep my drinking levels low And those people are my doctor Eh but what does that guy know If you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk If you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk The party isn't over Until the moment that I'm sober Because if you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk If you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk If you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk If you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk If you see me dancing It means that I'm drunk
8.	The Smack 03:26	lyrics	buy track
There’s a new dance craze All across the nation Over all the airwaves Of every radio station You don’t need to boogie To do the dance You don't shake your hips Cause all you need is hands They call it the smack (SMACK!) Smack it smack it They call it the smack (SMACK!) Smack it on up They call it the smack (SMACK!) Smack 'em smack 'em in the face They call it the smack (SMACK!) Woo! Here’s how you do it now Gonna show you the moves Literally all you do is smack each other To the rhythm of the groove Not hard enough to hurt someone Feel free to use something soft Like a pillow or a teddy bear To get your point across They call it the smack (SMACK!) Smack it smack it They call it the smack (SMACK!) Smack it up, smack it down They call it the smack (SMACK!) Smack each other in the face They call it the smack (SMACK!) When you’re grooving at a part-ay Do the smack First dance at your wedding day Do the smack If you’re dancing all alone at your place Do the smack Better smack yourself right in the face They call it the smack (SMACK!) Smack it smack it They call it the smack (SMACK!) Smack it in, smack it out They call it the smack (SMACK!) Smack yourself in the face They call it the smack (SMACK!) Smack it smack it smack it They call it the smack (SMACK!) Come on and do the smack They call it the smack (SMACK!) Smack it, smack it They call it the smack (SMACK!) Everybody's doing the smack They call it the smack (SMACK!) SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
9.	That Sounded Better In My Head 04:26	lyrics	buy track
Sorry, I’m sorry I was just trying to comment About how good you look For being 27 weeks pregnant I know you don’t believe me Yeah I know it sounds wild But I really didn’t know That you weren’t with child And I’m not saying you’re fat (Please just stop talking) Oh god why’d I say that (Please stop talking now) Didn’t mean to upset you or make you feel sad I just meant that if you were pregnant You'd barely look bad That sounded better in my head And now I wish that I was dead Why’d I say that out loud Now I gotta leave town That sounded better in my head Hey there how’s it going Good to see you my man Whatcha doing this weekend? Do you have any plans? Hey that’s a nice jacket Is it cotton or wool? I love how you never Ever try to look good I mean I like your style (Why would you ever say that?) You’ve got such minimal style (Why’d you say it again?) All I meant by what I said Is that I love how you always look Like you just rolled out of bed That sounded better in my head And now I wish that I was dead Why’d I say that out loud Now I gotta leave town That sounded better in my head Mama, oh mama My day's really gone south I keep on putting My foot into my mouth I don’t know why I have to say Everything on my mind How on earth do you do This sort of thing all the time I mean you say what you want (Excuse me, what are you saying?) You’re not afraid to be a– (Can I stop you there) Mama I’m just saying that you Have no problem being mean Off putting or rude That sounded better in my head And now I wish that I was dead Why’d I say that out loud Now I gotta leave town That sounded better in my head That sounded better in my head That sounded better in my head That sounded better in my head That sounded better in my head That sounded better in my head That sounded better in my head That sounded better in my head That sounded better in my head
10.	Glamourous 05:12	lyrics	buy track
Glamour I feel glamorous I feel so glamorous I feel glamorous I feel so glamorous I may be lanky I may be wearing ill fitting threads I may never have a haircut That looks good on my head But I feel glamorous I feel so glamorous I feel glamorous I feel so glamorous I may be ugly I may have a lazy eye I may be a pretty regular Average looking guy But I feel glamorous I feel so glamorous I feel glamorous I feel so glamorous I may not have the glamour I may not have the glitz But allow me this indulgence If you’ll permit Cause I feel glamorous I feel so glamorous And I’m sure that I make you feel amorous Because I’m just so glamorous My picture in the dictionary has an asterisk The footnotes say see definition for glamorous My appearance Isn’t worth a second glimpse My skin is so greasy And my body needs a rinse But I feel glamorous I feel so glamorous I feel glamorous I feel so glamorous My apartment is small Every square foot is a mess My car has two flat tires And it’s also a mess And yet I’m glamorous I feel so glamorous I may be cautious but I’m not averse to risk You’ve gotta take a chance to be so glamorous You’d be hard pressed to find someone with half of this I’m an eleven out of ten I’m so glamorous I feel glamorous I feel so glamorous I feel glamorous I feel so glamorous I feel glamorous I feel so glamorous I feel glamorous I feel so glamorous

about

My sixth album and the second released in 2023 is a throwback to 1970s disco and funk. For fans of Donna Summer, James Brown, and Sparks.

High octane grooves perfect for your tamest parties or middle school dances. The bandcamp edition includes two bonus tracks, single versions of "Party All Night (Until 10pm)" and "Glamourous".

This year of our lord, 2023, I am planning to write, record, and release a total of four albums from my low budget bedroom studio. Each album will be a different genre from a different decade.

credits

released May 26, 2023

All music and lyrics by Kevin Froleiks

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Goodbye Charlemagne New York, New York

Failed comedian. Failing musician.

The artist currently known as Goodbye Charlemagne.

Guitars: Ricketts Parnassass

Keys: Dakota Boulevard

Bass: Dimo Rodrigo

Drums: Flora Lewpinsky

Additional instruments and vocals provided by Kevin Froleiks for tax purposes ... more

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