Get all 21 Goodbye Charlemagne releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Sensational Debut (60th Anniversary Stereo Edition), Christmastime in Outer Space, We Have Your Son, But Please Take Him Back, Messin' with the Monkey [Single Version], Party All Night (Until 10pm) [Single Version], The British Invasion: Part II, Glitz & Glamour, The Sensational Debut, and 13 more.
1. |
Glitz
02:22
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Glitz
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2. |
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All aboard the disco train
(Tickets Please, tickets please)
Hop aboard the disco train
(Next stop Funkville, USA)
Ride the rails of the disco train
(Chugga chugga chugga chugga, chugga chugga chugga chugga)
All aboard the disco train
Get yourself a ticket
And climb aboard
Gonna take a journey down
The entire eastern seaboard
From Portland, Maine to Miami
Straight down the Atlantic Ocean
The disco train puts the loco
Back in the locomotion
All aboard the disco train
(Tickets Please, tickets please)
Hop aboard the disco train
(Next stop Funkville, USA)
Ride the rails of the disco train
(Chugga chugga chugga chugga, chugga chugga chugga chugga)
All aboard the disco train
Ain’t no quiet cars
On the disco train
It’s an all night party
All local stops are being made
The disco train is a magic train
I’m sure you can deduce
When the music’s loud, make like a train
And shake that big caboose
All aboard the disco train
(Tickets Please, tickets please)
Hop aboard the disco train
(Next stop Funkville, USA)
Ride the rails of the disco train
(Chugga chugga chugga chugga, chugga chugga chugga chugga)
All aboard the disco train
Chugga chugga chugga chugga
Chugga chugga chugga chugga
Choo choo choo HOO!
Chugga chugga chugga chugga
Chugga chugga chugga chugga
Choo choo choo HOO!
Tickets Please, Tickets Please
Next stop Funkville USA
The disco train
Don’t run on coal
It don’t run on steam
It just runs on soul
If the musics hot
And the beats are tight
The disco train can run all day
And straight on through the night
All aboard the disco train
(Tickets Please, tickets please)
Hop aboard the disco train
(Next stop Funkville, USA)
Ride the rails of the disco train
(Chugga chugga chugga chugga, chugga chugga chugga chugga)
All aboard the disco train
All aboard the disco train
All aboard the disco train
All aboard the disco train
All aboard the disco train
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3. |
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I got ice in the freezer
Beer and wine are in the fridge
I got liquor and I got mixers
I got plenty of chips and dip
Ain't no party like one of my parties
Cause you know my party don't stop
But we're all in our 30s now
So there's just one caveat
We're gonna party all night
Until 10pm
We're gonna party all night
Party all night
We're gonna party all night
Until 10pm
Cause that's a reasonable hour to call it a night
Hey thanks for coming over
Why don't you come on in
Take your shoes off at the door
Let me take your coat
And I'll introduce you to all my other friends
This is Kelly from three jobs ago
This is John we met in college
But no one here expects you to learn each others names
We all know it's just useless knowledge
Because we're gonna party all night
Until 10pm
We're gonna party all night
Party all night
We're in our 30s
We're not trying to make some new friends
At 10:01 we all go back to our real lives again
It's 9 o'clock and I'm
Ready to call it a night
I turn the music down a smidge
And hope that my guests take the hint
I sneak away to my bed
Dim the lights and close the door
And I push all their coats
Off of my bed and on on the floor
I just need to take a five
Swear I'm just resting my eyes
But I don't set an alarm
And I awake at dawn
When I wake up I grab my phone
And I text all of my friends
They say we all left maybe 10 minutes or so
After you snuck off to bed
Then the one guy in his twenties says
Next week let's all grab a beer
But the rest of us say that's okay we're good now
No need to socialize for at least a couple of years
Because we partied all night
Until 9:15-ish pm
That's right we partied all night
Partied all night
We'll be hungover for days
From just 2 glasses of wine
But that's the price you pay for trying to party all night
Partied all night
That's right we partied all night
Partied all night
That's right we partied all night
Partied all night
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4. |
Thank You, Shut Up
03:38
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Thank you
Shut Up
Thank you
Shut up
Thank you
Shut up
Thank you
Shut up
Looks like I did a thing
Made something I can’t wait to show
You tell me that it’s cool
You wanna share with everyone you know
Well I avert my eyes
My cheeks flush, heart skips a beat
I say uh huh and change the subject
You say I really think it’s neat
Thank you, now shut up
(Shut your mouth)
Not another word coming out your face
Thank you, now shut up
(Zip it on up)
Cause I’m uncomfortable receiving praise
Thank you
Shut Up
Thank you
Shut up
I spent so much time
Bringing this project to fruition
Spent countless sleepless nights
Obsessing over my vision
And now it’s out there
And I get words of admiration
But I’d rather hear your words of
Loathing, Hatred, and Condemnation
Thank you, now shut up
(Shut your mouth)
Not another word coming out your face
Thank you, now shut up
(Zip it on up)
Cause I’m uncomfortable receiving praise
Thank you
Shut Up
Thank you
Shut up
Thank you
Shut up
Thank you
Shut up
Thank you
Shut up
Thank you
Shut up
Than you
Shut up
Thank you
Shut up
I say that’s nice of you to say
And then I shuffle on away
You say you think I’ve got a hit
Well thanks but leave me out of it
It’s nothing against you
I swear I don’t mean to be rude
Don’t mistake this for resentment
But please stop giving me attention
Thank you, now shut up
(Shut your mouth)
Not another word coming out your face
Thank you, now shut up
(Zip it on up)
Cause I’m uncomfortable receiving praise
Thank you
Shut Up
Thank you
Shut up
Thank you
Shut up
Thank you
Shut up
Thank you
Shut Up
Thank you
Shut up
Thank you
Shut up
Thank you
Shut up
Thank you
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5. |
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Friday night
And we’re all out here at the dance
I see you
And I decide to take a chance
Girl you look so fine
Now won’t you take my hand
Cause it’s 1999
And we’re at an 8th grade dance
I want to slow dance to Stairway to Heaven
With my hands on your waist, standing two feet apart
I want to slow dance to Stairway to Heaven
Even during the fast part
You and I
Are swaying to the sounds
Left and right
Barely moving our feet up off the ground
Girl I’m hoping that
This dance will last forever
And I hope that if we kiss
Our braces don’t get stuck together
I want to slow dance to Stairway to Heaven
When I hear the first few notes on the acoustic guitar
I want to slow dance to Stairway to Heaven
Even during the fast part
The slow part ends
The guitar solo starts to rock
But I feel tense
Don’t know what to do with my body parts
Girl I’d love to stay with you
Basked in our teenage hormones
But sorry girl my rides here
My mom is here to take me home
I want to slow dance to Stairway to Heaven
On the scuffed up floor of our middle school’s cafeteria
I want to slow dance to Stairway to Heaven
Even during the fast part
Slow dance to Stairway to Heaven
Slow dance to Stairway to Heaven
Slow dance to Stairway to Heaven
Slow dance to Stairway to Heaven
And as we slow dance awkwardly
I look around and plainly see
That every girl’s taller than me
Because I haven’t yet hit puberty
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6. |
Karate in the Night
05:09
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The sun goes down over the city skyline
The darkness takes away the light
The shadows sneak up right behind me
I see them move out of the corner of my eye
I’m all alone
In this big house without you
And there’s only one thing I can do
I do karate in the night
It’s the only thing that make me feel alright
I karate chop the darkness
HIYA
I do karate in the night
I take the trash down to the basement
And the lightbulb’s on the fritz again
What’s that moving over in the corner?
Dear lord save me from this monster amen
Cause when the lightbulbs break
And the room’s as black as coal
Every shape could be a goblin or a troll
I do karate in the night
I’m a black belt here inside my mind
You better believe that if you try to scare me
HIYA
I'll do karate in the night
I go into the bathroom every evening
(Going to the bathroom)
When it’s time to brush my teeth
(You gotta brush your teeth)
But my eyes are drawn to the shower curtain
(Oh no)
Is there some monster murderer waiting for me
(Waiting in the shower)
But I don’t run, no I don’t flinch
No I don’t scream and I don’t hide
I just pull back the curtain, step back into a stance
It’s karate o’clock tonight
I wake up at the break of dawn
Pour some coffee to start the day
And I take a look around
Looks like everything’s okay
Ain’t got no monsters in the kitchen
No oogie boogies under the bed
No specters lurking in the closets
No creepy crawlies overhead
Because they know
That this is my home
They know better than to mess with a pro
Cause I do karate in the night
My fists are ready for the fight
And when the sun goes down this evening
HIYA
I'll do karate in the night
Cause it's the only thing that make me feel alright
I karate chop the darkness
I do karate in the night
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7. |
If You See Me Dancing
03:16
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Now I'm not the kinda guy
Who likes to boogie on the floor
Because I'm the kinda guy
Who thinks that dancing is a bore
But there always comes a time
When my attitude gets flipped, sir
A few hours into the night
When I've had a few elixirs
If you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
If you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
If my booty starts to shake
Better get me somewhere safe
Because if you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
Now you don't need to drink
In order to enjoy yourself
But I'm not gonna lie
4 scotch and sodas really helps
And after five or six
That's when all of my doubts stop
And I begin to move my hips
Because my brain has been shut off
If you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
If you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
The booze made it possible
But please get me to a hospital
Because if you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
If you don't think you can boogie down
Say hey bartender, another round
If you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
If you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
If you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
If you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
Now I'm the kinda guy
Who needs some social lubrication
When everybody starts to dance
It ain't no time for moderation
Some people say that I
Should keep my drinking levels low
And those people are my doctor
Eh but what does that guy know
If you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
If you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
The party isn't over
Until the moment that I'm sober
Because if you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
If you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
If you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
If you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
If you see me dancing
It means that I'm drunk
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8. |
The Smack
03:26
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There’s a new dance craze
All across the nation
Over all the airwaves
Of every radio station
You don’t need to boogie
To do the dance
You don't shake your hips
Cause all you need is hands
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
Smack it smack it
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
Smack it on up
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
Smack 'em smack 'em in the face
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
Woo!
Here’s how you do it now
Gonna show you the moves
Literally all you do is smack each other
To the rhythm of the groove
Not hard enough to hurt someone
Feel free to use something soft
Like a pillow or a teddy bear
To get your point across
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
Smack it smack it
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
Smack it up, smack it down
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
Smack each other in the face
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
When you’re grooving at a part-ay
Do the smack
First dance at your wedding day
Do the smack
If you’re dancing all alone at your place
Do the smack
Better smack yourself right in the face
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
Smack it smack it
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
Smack it in, smack it out
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
Smack yourself in the face
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
Smack it smack it smack it
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
Come on and do the smack
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
Smack it, smack it
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
Everybody's doing the smack
They call it the smack (SMACK!)
SMACK!
SMACK!
SMACK!
SMACK!
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9. |
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Sorry, I’m sorry
I was just trying to comment
About how good you look
For being 27 weeks pregnant
I know you don’t believe me
Yeah I know it sounds wild
But I really didn’t know
That you weren’t with child
And I’m not saying you’re fat
(Please just stop talking)
Oh god why’d I say that
(Please stop talking now)
Didn’t mean to upset you or make you feel sad
I just meant that if you were pregnant
You'd barely look bad
That sounded better in my head
And now I wish that I was dead
Why’d I say that out loud
Now I gotta leave town
That sounded better in my head
Hey there how’s it going
Good to see you my man
Whatcha doing this weekend?
Do you have any plans?
Hey that’s a nice jacket
Is it cotton or wool?
I love how you never
Ever try to look good
I mean I like your style
(Why would you ever say that?)
You’ve got such minimal style
(Why’d you say it again?)
All I meant by what I said
Is that I love how you always look
Like you just rolled out of bed
That sounded better in my head
And now I wish that I was dead
Why’d I say that out loud
Now I gotta leave town
That sounded better in my head
Mama, oh mama
My day's really gone south
I keep on putting
My foot into my mouth
I don’t know why I have to say
Everything on my mind
How on earth do you do
This sort of thing all the time
I mean you say what you want
(Excuse me, what are you saying?)
You’re not afraid to be a–
(Can I stop you there)
Mama I’m just saying that you
Have no problem being mean
Off putting or rude
That sounded better in my head
And now I wish that I was dead
Why’d I say that out loud
Now I gotta leave town
That sounded better in my head
That sounded better in my head
That sounded better in my head
That sounded better in my head
That sounded better in my head
That sounded better in my head
That sounded better in my head
That sounded better in my head
That sounded better in my head
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10. |
Glamourous
05:12
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Glamour
I feel glamorous
I feel so glamorous
I feel glamorous
I feel so glamorous
I may be lanky
I may be wearing ill fitting threads
I may never have a haircut
That looks good on my head
But I feel glamorous
I feel so glamorous
I feel glamorous
I feel so glamorous
I may be ugly
I may have a lazy eye
I may be a pretty regular
Average looking guy
But I feel glamorous
I feel so glamorous
I feel glamorous
I feel so glamorous
I may not have the glamour
I may not have the glitz
But allow me this indulgence
If you’ll permit
Cause I feel glamorous
I feel so glamorous
And I’m sure that I make you feel amorous
Because I’m just so glamorous
My picture in the dictionary has an asterisk
The footnotes say see definition for glamorous
My appearance
Isn’t worth a second glimpse
My skin is so greasy
And my body needs a rinse
But I feel glamorous
I feel so glamorous
I feel glamorous
I feel so glamorous
My apartment is small
Every square foot is a mess
My car has two flat tires
And it’s also a mess
And yet I’m glamorous
I feel so glamorous
I may be cautious but I’m not averse to risk
You’ve gotta take a chance to be so glamorous
You’d be hard pressed to find someone with half of this
I’m an eleven out of ten I’m so glamorous
I feel glamorous
I feel so glamorous
I feel glamorous
I feel so glamorous
I feel glamorous
I feel so glamorous
I feel glamorous
I feel so glamorous
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Goodbye Charlemagne New York, New York
Failed comedian. Failing musician.
The artist currently known as Goodbye
Charlemagne.
Guitars: Ricketts Parnassass
Keys: Dakota Boulevard
Bass: Dimo Rodrigo
Drums: Flora Lewpinsky
Additional instruments and vocals provided by Kevin Froleiks for tax purposes
... more
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